In-Home Care Service Helps Dad Take Care of Mom

 According to 2015 statistics from the Pew Research Center, about 7 percent of spouses are caring for a partner. Although it may seem like the ideal arrangement, in reality, it’s very difficult for many caregiving partners to recognize the need for help and accept it before it’s too late. Spousal caregivers (aged 66-96) who experience caregiving-stress have a 63 percent higher mortality rate than non-caregiving peers, per a report from the Family Caregiver Alliance.

Family Caregiving is Hard Work

It’s easy to think of your parents as keeping each other company at home, but as spousal and family caregivers become more focused on the care receiver over time, they inadvertently cut off contact with friends and sometimes even family. They stop going to church, the library or out to their favorite restaurants. If your father is feeling lonely or depressed while caring for your mother, what kind of care will he be providing?

Caregiving can take an emotional toll on the family caregiver because they are watching the person they love suffer from an illness, injury or disease. A spousal caregiver who feels inadequate to meet his spouse’s needs may feel a sense of guilt, failure, frustration. If the spouse’s personality has changed due dementia or another diagnosis, he may find himself struggling to feel love or compassion towards his partner.

The house itself also tells the story of how caregiving has affected your parents. Dad can’t maintain the level of cleanliness he is used to if he’s afraid to leave Mom alone in a room for more than five minutes. Laundry may pile up, and bills, too.

Family caregiving is hard work, emotionally, physically, and mentally. When one spouse takes on the hard work of managing a household along with their loved one’s daily care needs—all the while dealing with the roller coaster of emotions this role brings—that spouse is at risk of burnout and even early death. To give care, you must take care. To provide the best care, you must care for yourself in the best possible way.

How In-Home Senior Care Helps

Senior home care services helps caregiving couples and the families who love them by providing companionship, light housekeeping, transportation, meal prep, grooming, bathing and help with activities of daily living.  Homecare aides do not replace the vital work of the spousal caregiver. They complement it and enable it to go on for as long as possible. They lighten the load of caregiving so that family caregivers can work through grief as they provide care to their loved ones.

That said, you should always present the idea of home care support as a way for both parents to stay healthy and at home for as long as possible, affirming the value of the care they’re already providing and suggesting the benefits will go both ways—because they do.

Visiting Angels Newton/Canton provides professional and compassionate in-home care services in Brookline, Watertown, Newton, Needham and nearby areas. We have received the Best of Home Care Leader of Excellence Award from Home Care Pulse four years in a row! For more information on why your elderly parent needs more help than a friend or family caregiver can provide, call us at 617-795-2727 or contact us today!